It’s the first week of November, and just about this time every four years, I ask myself, ”Why hasn’t Michigan fired their coach yet?” In most years, we’re 8-9 weeks into the season by now with The Game looming. And typically, almost like clockwork since the days of Lloyd Carr, there’s been a pattern that hasn’t quite lasted four years. It is hard to believe that Gary Moeller was only there for a handful of seasons. It felt like longer since he practically owned Coop.
In all fairness, although the writing may have been on the wall, 2016 would have both been ideal and too early to oust the Bo-prototype who hailed himself as the savior to Bo’s legacy. Weren’t they decent in 2016? Could have gone out on top. I mean, they really took it to Maryland and Rutgers that year.
I’m just growing tired of hearing about his top ten recruiting classes every season just to watch them flirt with falling out of the Top 25 and then lose to an SEC team what seems like every bowl season. It’s run its course. Let’s be honest with ourselves and call this the Farewell Tour.
I’m actually a huge fan of the Farewell Tour, and it’s become quite common in sports in the last decade or so. The most memorable of which take place in baseball. Craig Biggio received a ton of gifts from each team he visited in his last MLB season. Chipper Jones, Mariano Riviera, even my man Derek Jeter (although he tried not asking for it). It has become quite the tradition, for the good guys, for the guys you enjoyed playing or rooting against, who knew that calling it quits at the right time was the right thing to do to preserve the very fan sentiment they’d spent so many years securing, even rival fans. What would be sweeter than telling Mr. Khaki his farewell tour won’t be starting on his terms?
In addition, it might spark some excitement if you call this guy in the office on say, Monday, December 7th, have the talk, and see if you can’t muster up some artificial momentum going into your 10th straight loss in Columbus. Ohio State did it in 1987 with Earl Bruce. It worked. The Bucks put on a defensive display in the 2nd half and left with a 3-point victory.
So I have to ask, assuming the Farewell Tour has already commenced, what would your gift be? And be creative. Don’t tell me more khaki pants. Unless you’re Penn State and that pair of khakis includes a Jo-Pa patented streak down the backside.
This weekend, if you’re Indiana, the highest they’ve been ranked since the Lincoln administration…are you gifting a giant crying laughing face emoji?
Wisconsin? A cheese head, some popcorn box striped suspenders, and a few AA batteries?
Maryland and Rutgers? Thank you cards? In all honestly, have you even been around long enough to appreciate what a complete trainwreck this has become in four years? Maybe just a new hat with more support in the crown. Those things he wears every Saturday look like they’ve been sat on for 24 straight hours.
Let’s hear it! Give me your best. What should Ohio State give Mr. Sideline Lunatic prior to the start of The Game on December 12th? A box of Kleenex?